2004.03.12 (week 350)
Pearls before swine.
Ongoing: National Women's History Month.
Ongoing: International Art Open at Woman Made Gallery.
..-Su: Medinah Shrine Circus at Odeum Expo Center.
Ongoing: Hubbard Street Dance company at Joan W. and Irving B. Harris Theater for Music and Dance.
..-Sa: Pirates of Penzance at Lyric Opera of Chicago.
Ongoing: Mini Golf Around Chicago at Navy Pier - Crystal Gardens.
Ongoing: "Menopause" the musical at Apollo Theater.
Ongoing: Under The Picasso at Daley Plaza.
Ongoing: "Agent Cody Banks 2" now playing at Theaters Everywhere.
Ongoing: "Secret Window" now playing at Theaters Everywhere.
Fr: Liz Phair at Vic Theatre.
Fr: "Real Time" w/ Bill Maher on HBO.
Fr: Kid Rock at Allstate Arena.
Fr: Umphrey's Mcgee at Park West.
Fr: World of Drum and Bass at Metro.
Fr: Live Drumming at Rhythm.
Fr: Cosmix at Berlin.
Fr: Dennis Miller on CNBC.
Fr: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind at Neo-Futurarium.
Sa-Su: Chevy-Vette Fest at McCormick Place.

Ongoing:    ^
* National Women's History Month (since 1987). THANXX! -2004.03.31 Yearly.
"Pioneering the Future"

International Art Open (since 1998). -2004.03.25 We-Fr noon-7p, Sa/Su noon-4p.
Woman Made Gallery, 773/489-8900, 2418 W Bloomingdale.

Medinah Shrine Circus (since 1942). -2004.03.14 Yearly. All ages. $10-$25.
"The annual Medinah Shrine Circus will delight families with a mixture of fearless feats and frantic fun with a five day run. Animals ranging from tigers and elephants to poodles, and an even wider variety of talented human performers, from clowns to motorcycle daredevils, all led by the Ringmaster, will thrill young and old alike."
Odeum Expo Center, 630/833-8368, 1033 N Villa Ave, VillaPark. Near Lombard, S Prairie Ave and E 18th St.

Hubbard Street Dance company (25th anniversary). Modern and innovative. -2004.03.28 All ages. $17-50.
Joan W. and Irving B. Harris Theater for Music and Dance, 205 E Randolph. Millennium Park, Downtown.

Pirates of Penzance. -2004.03.13 All ages. $154 Various times.
The very model of a modern major opera hit!
Lyric Opera of Chicago, 312/332-2244, 20 N Wacker.

* Mini Golf Around Chicago (since 1996). -2004.04.11 Yearly. All ages. $5.25-6.25 Mo-Fr 10a-10p, Sa 10a-11p, Su 10a-7p.
Fanciful mini-golf course by area architects, depicts many famed local buildings and themes.
Navy Pier - Crystal Gardens, 312/595-7437 (PIER), 600 E Grand.

"Menopause" the musical. $47 Tu-Fr 8p, Sa 5+8p, Su 3:30.
Joyful musical parody set to 28 classic baby-boomer tunes.
Apollo Theater, 773/935-6100, 2540 N Lincoln.

Now playing.
Starsky & Hutch, Passion of the Christ, Welcome to Mooseport, 50 First Dates, Butterfly Effect, Along Came Polly, Monster, Big Fish, Chasing Liberty, Peter Pan, Paycheck, The Company, Lord of the Rings 3, Stuck on You, Honey, Last Samurai, Bad Santa, Cat in the Hat, Elf, ...
Theaters Everywhere.

WAY too much GREAT dance and theater and comedy and poetry to cover.
Get yourself a Reader or NewCity magazine.
Hundreds of city locations.

Under The Picasso. All ages. Free 12p.
Interesting free performances almost every week day at noon. Go to the spectacular Thompson Center nearby (100 W Randolph) for more good art.
Daley Plaza, 312/346-3278, 50 W Washington. Washington and Dearborn.

Different new rock, experimental, jazz, ethnic bands almost every night. 21+ $?
Metro, 773/549-0203, 3730 N Clark, Near Red Line Addison stop,
Double Door, 773/489-3160, 1572 N Milwaukee, Wicker Park near Blue line Damen stop,
Empty Bottle, 773/276-3600, 1035 N Western, dive-ish,
Martyrs', 773/404-9494, 3855 N Lincoln,
Hot House, 312/362-9707, 31 East Balbo, discounted parking, near downtown train stops,

Movies and Beer. Smoking, heckling, FUN! -Thursday 18+ (ID reqd) $5.
8p (Su-We): American Wedding - Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, January Jones, Eugene Levy, Molly Cheek, Deborah Rush, Fred Willard, ...
10p (Su-We): Bad Santa - Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac, Lauren Graham, John Ritter, ...
Brew & View, 773/929-6713, 3145 N Sheffield. Around the corner from the Red line Belmont stop.

Friday 2004.03.12:    ^
"Agent Cody Banks 2" now playing.
"Destination London" w/ Frankie Muniz, Hannah Spearritt, Anthony Anderson, Daniel Roebuck, ...
Theaters Everywhere.

"Secret Window" now playing.
Stephen King: Johnny Depp, Kyle Allatt, Maria Bello, Len Cariou, Charles Dutton, Gillian Ferrabee, Timothy Hutton, Richard Jutras, John Turturro, ...
Theaters Everywhere.

Liz Phair. All ages. $26 7p.
W/ Rachael Yamagata & Patrick Park.
Vic Theatre, 773/472-0449, 3145 N Sheffield.

"Real Time" w/ Bill Maher. New season. Fridays TV-MA. Free. Repeats at 10:30p. 7p.
New show, now one full hour with comedy showcase segment.
HBO. On cable.

Kid Rock. All ages. $? 8p.
Allstate Arena, 847/635-6601, 6920 Mannheim Rd, Rosemont.

Umphrey's Mcgee. 18+ $20 9p.
Park West, 773/929-1322, 322 W Armitage.

* World of Drum and Bass. 18+ $20-25 9p-4a.
DJs SS, Grooverider, Shy FX, Twisted Individual, Frenzic, Danny The Wildchild, Phantom 45, Skelectric, Glyde, Flipside, Poolside, Carbide; MCs Skibadee, Question Mark, Killa Kella, Trip.
Metro, 773/549-0203, 3730 N Clark. Near Red Line Addison stop.

Live Drumming. Fr/Sa/We 21+ $5-10 No smoking. 9p-3a.
Loaner percussions of every kind. Lessons first then drum circles.
03.12: DJembe summer camp all-stars.
Rhythm, 312/492-6100, 1108 W Randolph. At Aberdeen, six blocks W of Halsted.

Cosmix. Fridays 21+ Free 10p-4a.
Greg Haus spins his signature mix of progressive, hardhouse, trance, & breakbeat along with some of his favorite classic club hits.
Berlin, 773/348-4975, 954 W Belmont. Near Red line Belmont stop.

Dennis Miller. Fr/Mo/Tu/We/Th All ages. Free 1hr 11p.
Now literally a Republican shill.

Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind. Fr/Sa All ages? $6-11 (also Su 7:30p) 11:30p.
30 plays in 60 minutes, lots of improv, very welcoming, often topical.
Neo-Futurarium, 773/275-5255, 5153 N Ashland.

Saturday 2004.03.13:    ^
Chevy-Vette Fest. Super great show for enthusiasts. -Sunday Yearly. All ages. $0-12 9a-6p.
Over 300 cars, parts, sales, contests.
McCormick Place, 2301 S Lake Shore. Lakeside Center - Halls D1-2.

* Chicago Flower and Garden Show (since 1995). -2004.03.21 Yearly. All ages. $5-13 Su -6p, Mo-Sa 10a-8p.
"25 themed gardens that magically transform Festival Hall into a lush botanical wonderland of color" also lectures, demos and 200 products/info booths.
Navy Pier, 312/222-9328, 600 E Grand. On-site parking, or Grand Red line stop then take free trolley.

Chicago Neighborhood Tours. Bring a snack. Saturdays $20-25 4hr 10a.
03.13: Art for the People: WPA Murals in the Chicago Public Schools.
Chicago Cultural Center, 312/742-1190, 77 E Randolph.

* Saint Patrick's Day parade (since 1956). Carried on ABC and WGN. Yearly. 2hrs 12p.
Around 100 bands/floats/balloons, thousands of marchers. Preceded by Mass at Old St. Pats at 9:30 with Irish music and dancing, river dyed green 10:30a, Trinity Dancers and Irish Pipe Band at Buckingham Fountain (11a).
Downtown, 312/942-9188, Columbus, from Balbo to Monroe. Take any train.

* St. Patrick's Day Festival (since 1987). Yearly. All ages. $12, under 12 free. 1-11:45p.
Irish music, step dancers, ceili instruction, bagpipes, kids activities, corned beef and cabbage, and maybe Guinness.
Irish American Heritage Center, 773/282-7035, 4626 N Knox.

The Tossers. All ages. $13 6:30p.
With Spider Stacy's Pogue Mahone.
Metro, 773/549-0203, 3730 N Clark. Near Red Line Addison stop.

Campaign Rally for Dennis Kucinich. All ages. 7p.
Speakers include Reverend Geri Solomon, Dr. Tad Daley, and Congressman Dennis Kucinich. Musicial Performances by Flutter (opens), Jaik Willis, and Barrelhouse Bonni & Little Scotty.
Rockefeller Memorial Chapel, 1156 East 59th Street Chicago. University of Chicago.

Mavericks. 21+ $22.50 7:30p.
Park West, 773/929-1322, 322 W Armitage.

College of Complexes (since 1951). "The Playground for People Who Think" Saturdays All ages. $3 food/drink purchase 2.5hrs 8-11p.
Structured weekly free speech forum with quality lecturers and good American food and bar.
03.13: Readin' Writin' and Architecture -The Chicago School House, with Slide Show.
Lincoln Restaurant, 773/248-1820, 4008 N Lincoln. Near Lincoln/Irving/Damen.

The Saw Doctors. 21+ $26 8:30p.
W/ The Shambles.
Vic Theatre, 773/472-0449, 3145 N Sheffield.

Gaelic Storm & Black 47. 18+ $27-29 9p.
House of Blues, 312/527-2583, 329 N Dearborn.

* "Play :: Drum and Bass Saturdays" Saturdays 21+ Free 9p-3a.
Cheap beers, kitchen, two floors, residents Burst, Droopy, Nanotech, MF, Pipeline, Disko Kitty, jungle/d&b guests.
03.13: Phantom 45 b-day.
Spot6, 773/388-0185, 3343 N Clark.

"The Edge" comedy improv show. Saturdays All ages. (21+ byob!) $5-8 9p-?a.
No two drink minimum, no egos, no rules, pizza, coffee, more.
Chase Cafe, 773/295-0395, 7301 N Sheridan. Rogers Park.

Iron Chef. Fiercely competitive cooking translated from Japan. Saturdays All ages. Free. 1hr. Repeats later. 9p.
Drinking game: sip a Saki each time Ota says "Fukui-san!"
FOOD. On cable.

"Autobahn" How fast can you go? Saturdays 21+ $5 after 10p 9:30p-5a.
Experience the driving, Trans-Euro groove as DJs Christopher Robin and Greg Haus and John Jackson spin a signature mix of progressive music and video. Meet and mingle with a truly diverse crowd. Dress up or dress down... this is the place to be what you are! An editor fave, sometimes too wild.
Berlin, 773/348-4975, 954 W Belmont. Near Red line Belmont stop.

* "Contemporary Insanity" Saturdays 21+ $5 10p-5a.
THE BEST Industrial/EBM nite in town.
Neo, 773/528-2622, 2350 N Clark. Just South of Fullerton. Sometimes parking rare.

Old School w/ DJ Chris Gin. Saturdays 21+ Free Fr -2a, Sa 10p-3a.
Kitchen sink music, requests, video games, sports and movies, 26 beers, kitchen.
Cans Bar and Canteen, 773/227-2277, 1640 N Damen. 1 block North of North/Milwaukee.

Sonic Boom. Saturdays All ages. Free 10p-4a.
Considered by many to be Chicago's BEST dance music weekly radio show. Electronic, Industrial, Techno, Big Beat, Drum & Bass, guest DJs.

Spundae. Saturdays 21+ $10-20 10p-5a.
Email for discount.
Acclaimed promoter, occasional big name DJs, mostly house, dress well.
03.13: DJs Sasha, Harry "Choo Choo" Romero, Hipolito Sanchez.
Vision Nightclub, 312/266-2144, 640 N Dearborn. At Ontario, near Erie. Great venue (formerly Aura). Parking hard and valet fills.

Sunday 2004.03.14:    ^
"R3 - A Gothic Tale" $10-30 Tu-Sa 7:30p, Su 3:30p.
Modern gothic/industrial adaptation of Shakespeare's Richard III, featuring music by Acumen Nation, Project 44 & F.O.S. Dress gothic/f*tish on Fridays for $10 admission.
Bailiwick Repertory Theatre, 773/883-1090, 1229 W Belmont. 10 blocks West off LSD.

Liz Phair. All ages. $25 SOLD OUT. 6:30p.
House of Blues, 312/527-2583, 329 N Dearborn.

* Poi Dog Pondering. All ages. $20 7p.
Benefit for David James-Figueroa, w/ Pegboy, Giant Step, DJ Collette. Raffle for 3 hours of Ben Wahh tattooing, merch, and travel.
Metro, 773/549-0203, 3730 N Clark. Near Red Line Addison stop.

* Psychotronic March Movie Mayhem. Sundays Ages? $? 8p.
Half price pizza and pitchers. Giant projection screen.
03.14: Suspiria - A psychotronic horror classic from director Dario Argento! Jessica Harper arrives at an exclusive European dance academy - which may be a doorway to Hell!
Holiday Club, 773/348-9600, 4000 N Sheridan. Near Red line Irving Park stop.

* Mish Mash Variety Nite! Weekly Variety Show with Film. Sundays 21+ $5 9-11p.
Catch the best of Chicago's filmmakers and variety talent. Anchored by original screenings, each week hosts an exciting and eclectic array of performances. From puppet shows to live jazz, improv to burlesque cabaret, stand up to rock bands, a forum for all things creatively diverse and wildly passionate in Chicago. Curated by Mia Park, also known as Miss Mia from "Chic A Go Go!". Free popcorn & drink specials.
Beat Kitchen, 773/281-4444, 2100 W Belmont. 1bk W of Damen, 2mi E from I94.

Weekly Coffeehouse (since 1999). Sundays All ages. $5 Donation. (doors 7p) 9p-1a.
Open mic, poets, musicians, interesting alternative community art and photos always on display. Includes coffee, tea, soda, snax, raffle.
The Burkhart Underground, 773/348-8536, 2845 N Halsted.

"Adult Swim" Sundays All ages. Free 10p-12a.
Extraordinarily good block of free-form thought-jazz toonage. May include Home Movies, The Oblongs, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, SeaLab 2021, Brak Show, Space Ghost, Harvey Birdman, Family Guy, and more.
TOON. On cable.

"Sedition" Sundays 21+ Free 10p-2a.
A "dark, sensual and subversive scene" w/ DJ (censored) and guests spinning EBM/Industrial/Electro.
Joy-Blue, 773/477-3330, 1401 W Irving Park. Several blocks West of Red Line Sheridan stop (24hr), or East of Brown Line Irving Park stop.

Whiplash. Sundays 21+ $7-9 (up to $15 if not in costume) 10p-3a.
Scary Lady Sarah produced. DJ Chilli Winters spinning hard & dark alternative dance. Dress code: F*t*, latex, leather, pvc, drag, ultra glam, uber goth, fantasy character, period costume. Special performances last Sunday of each month. Serious scene, rave reviews, not for the meek.
Spy Bar, 312/587-8779, 646 N Franklin. Free parking in South lot.

Monday 2004.03.15:    ^
Ides of March. Yearly.
Simple Roman Nomeclature for the fifteen of March (or middle of other months, not necessarily the 15th), made foreboding in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, referring to the soothsayer's warning to the emperor of his impending murder at the hands of his closest associates.

Tales of terror. Mondays 18+ $4 7:30p.
Various readings by local Chicago horror authors, open mike, and different entertainment weekly.
The Red Lion Pub, 773/348-2695, 2446 North Lincoln Avenue. On Lincoln one block north of Fullerton. Across from the Biograph.

Reactv8. Mondays 21+ Free 10p-4a.
VJ Boa spins synthpop, hardwave, retro, & more... Caters to people who enjoy conversation, good drinks, and NO "boom boom thump thump" music. With good lights and vids, and Mr. Hate dispensing poison.
Berlin, 773/348-4975, 954 W Belmont. Near Red line Belmont stop.

The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart. Emmy award winner. Mo/Tu/We/Th All ages, free. Reruns at midnt, 9a, 6p. 10-10:30p.
"The best fake news show ever!"
COM. On cable.

Tuesday 2004.03.16:    ^
Chic-a-Go-Go (since 1996). Tu/We All ages. Free Tu 8:30p, We 3:30p. UNCONFIRMED
RESPOND AT to get on the show!
Miss Mia (of Kim) and puppet Ratso host a fun loving local show where bands and performers lip-sync for an entertainingly diverse dancing audience.
CAN-TV. Public Access channel on cable.

Elvis Costello. All ages. $45-65 8p.
Ford Oriental Theater, 312/427-0266, 24 W Randolph. Downtown.

Noctronica/Nocturna (since 1988). Electro/Goth w/ Scary Lady Sarah, THE weekly gathering of darker souls. Tuesdays 21+ $5-10 10p-4a.
Nicely decorated, often a special guest and giveaways. A tight but welcoming community of several hundred intriguing individuals. held upstairs at Metro 18+ once a month.
SmartBar, 773/549-0203, 3730 N Clark. Near Red Line Addison stop.

Testosterone Tuesday. Hard dance music, ultra buff male strippers. Tuesdays 21+ Free 10p-4a.
DJ Ralph Rosario.
Berlin, 773/348-4975, 954 W Belmont. At the Belmont red line stop.

Wednesday 2004.03.17:    ^
* Women in the Director's Chair (since 1980). WIDC independent media festival!!! -2004.03.21 Yearly. All ages. $6-8 6p.
Over 100 works representing many countries. Focusing on intellectual complexity and responsibility to the subject matter. Also other venues and related pre/post-parties.
Women in the Director's Chair, 773/907-0610, 941 W Lawrence. 1/2 block east of Sheridan, 2 blocks east of Red Line Lawrence stop, free parking at 850 W Lawrence Hospital.

* Saint Patrick's Day. Patron saint of Ireland, 389-461 AD, born in Britain. Yearly.
Observed by wearing green, beer, highlights Irish culture, songs, etc. PARTIES AT EVERY BAR.

Baroque Bowling. All ages. $0-6+ 7:30p.
Period attire encouraged, bowling, beer, pizza, friends.
Marigold Bowl, 828 W Grace. Behind IHOP.

Beer Nuts. 21+ $10 9p.
W/ Deals Gone Bad, Chopper Chicks.
Double Door, 773/489-3160, 1572 N Milwaukee. Wicker Park, near Blue line Damen stop.

South Park NEW SEASON. Wednesdays 9p.
COM. On cable.

"In One Ear" (since 1985). Poetry Open Mic. Wednesdays All ages. $3 10p-?a.
"Eclectic mix of people who groove on laid-back vibes."
Heartland Cafe, 773/465-8005, 7000 N Glenwood. Near Red Line Morse stop.

Women Obsession (since 1990). Intended as a ladies night for ladies. 1st/2nd/3rd Wednesdays 21+ Free 10p-4a.
Berlin, 773/348-4975, 954 W Belmont. At Red line Belmont stop.

Thursday 2004.03.18:    ^
Camper Van Beethoven. W/ Cracker. 18+ $26 7:30p.
Vic Theatre, 773/472-0449, 3145 N Sheffield.

Melissa Etheridge. "Get Lucky Tonight" tour. -Sunday 21+ $75 SOLD OUT 8p.
House of Blues, 312/527-2583, 329 N Dearborn.

Bondage A Go-Go. Thursdays 21+ $? 8p-4a.
Hostesses Janelle, Donna, Veronica, DJ Pascal and guests. Bring or buy toys for adult play.
Exit, 312/395-2700, 1315 W North.

Planet Earth (since 1979). Thursdays 21+ $? 10p-4a.
Join DJ Dave Roberts for music, makeup, memories and videos. A long running Goth-lite night of new wave club classics.
Neo, 773/528-2622, 2350 N Clark.

Attractions:    ^
Many great exhibits of local works and curated collections. All ages. Free Mo-We 10a-7p, Th 10a-9p, Fr 10a-6p, Sa 10a-5p, Su 11a-5p.
With various special events, music and performances almost every day.
Also: good music daily at 12:15p, open late Thursdays.
Chicago Cultural Center, 312/346-3278 (FINE-ART), 78 E Washington.

Various good modern art shows. $0-8 Free Tuesdays. We-Su 10a-5p, Tu 10a-8p, closed Mo, xgiving, xmas, nyd.
Museum of Contemporary Art, 312/280-2660, 220 E Chicago.

With Giant Ferris Wheel, IMAX theatre, historic carousel, a*mazing Chicago ride, classic spinning swing ride, new mini-golf course, major VR games, food court, quality restaurants and bars, stained glass window museum, enclosed garden, wonderful specialty shops, children's museum, water taxis, several cruise lines and the Shakespeare Theatre.
Summer: 10a-10p Su-Th, 10a-midnt Fr-Sa; Fall: Mo-Th 10a-9p, Fr+Sa 10a-11p, Su 10a-7p; Winter: 10a-8p Mo-Th, 10a-10p Fr-Sa, 10a-7p Su.
6.5-8.28: "Family Fun Night" Thursdays.
Navy Pier, 312/222-9328, 600 E Grand. On-site parking, or Grand Red line stop then take free trolley.

See how the universe works. All ages. $10-18+ Mo-Fr 9:30a-4:30p (-10p 1st Fridays), Sa/Su 9a-4:30p, closed xmas, open -6p 12.26-1.5.
Much high tech exhibitry.
Adler Planetarium, 312/922-7827 (STAR), 1300 S Lake Shore.

Masterpieces. All ages. $6-10, Free Tuesdays. Mo/We/Th/Fr 10:30a-4:30p, Tu 10:30a-8p, Sa/Su 10a-5p, closed xgiving+xmas.
And other interesting permanent and visiting exhibits.
Art Institute of Chicago, 312/443-3500, 210 S Michigan.

World class gardens. Easy to get to. All ages. $8.75 parking. 8a-sunset, closed xmas.
385 acres, 23 gardens, 9 islands, prarie simulation, oriental features, miniature railway, produce, shows, restaurant, more...
Chicago Botanic Gardens, 847/835-5440, 1000 Lake Cook Road, Glencoe.

Quality exhibits and activities for young minds. All ages. $6-7, Free Thursdays 5-8p. Tu-Su 10a-5p.
Chicago Children's Museum, 312/527-1000, Navy Pier.

Natural History done right. All ages. $5-10, Free Mo/Tu 1.1-2.28+9.23-12.23. Last entry 4p, closed xmas+ny. 9a-5p.
"Sue" permanent dinosaur exhibit, insects, anthropology, world culture, geology, ecology, much more.
Field Museum, 312/922-9410, Roosevelt at Lake Shore Drive.

Exhibits covering 4000 years of surgical history. Not for the squeamish. All ages. $3-6, Free Tuesdays. Tu-Sa 10a-4p. Closed 12.24-25, 12.31-1.1.
International Museum of Surgical Science, 312/642-6502, 1524 N Lake Shore.

World class zoo. Now with web cams. All ages. Free (Building hours vary) 8a-6p.
Lincoln Park Zoo, 773/742-2000, 2200 N Cannon.

Consistent world class wonderland, set aside a whole day. All ages. $4-9 +parking/movies, Sometimes free. Mo-Sa 9:30a-4p, Su 11a-4p.
New TIME exhibit, possibly the best collection in existence of clocks through history. Also new Train, Genetics, Cyberspace, AIDS and toy exhibits.
Museum of Science and Industry, 773/684-1414, 57th at Lake Shore.

Truly stunning world class aquarium. $11-18, some deal days. Sa/Su 9a-6p, Mo-Fr 9a-5p (-6p in summer), some later days.
Rear outside deck has the city's best skyline view. Now with web cams.
Shedd Aquarium, 312/939-2438, 1200 S Lake Shore.

Notes:    ^
ALWAYS call before going to a listed event.
ALWAYS call before going to a listed event.

My mom the attorney would want me to remind you that no Bedno accepts any liability whatsoever for your use of any information presented here, as-is, at your own risk, ad infinitum, etc etc.