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Light Bulb Jokes
Andrew's project to collect lightbulb jokes. Make one up for your profession.
Do not read if easily offended. Some are a bit raw, as found in the wild.

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Potato.

Q. How many interrupting cows does it takje to change a lightbulb?
A. I give up, how m---MOOOO!!!!----

Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the bulb and ninety-nine to say "I could have done that."

Q. How many LGBT*'s does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the bulb and two to say "fabulous".

Q. How many dimwits does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to hold the bulb and several to turn the ladder.

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but the bulb must want to change.

Q. How many producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they screw in hot tubs.

Q. How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the bulb and several to share the experience.

Q. How many Fukushiman's does it take to change a light bulb.
A. None, they already glow in the dark.

Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, that's a hardware problem.

Q. How many computer salespeople does it take to change a light bulb?
A. They'll have to get back to you on that.

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two, one to do it the first time, then another to do it right.

Q. How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Six with breaks, you got a problem with that?!?

Q. How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the bulb, and hundreds of others to claim responsibility.

Q. How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A. WHAT THE HELL DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE!   Elaine Buesler, 10/90.

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 1/3 to change the bulb, 1/3 to discuss how the bulb is victimizing the socket, and 1/3 to secretly fantasize about being the socket.   Richard Baldwin 4/91

Q. How many Iraqis does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, it'll be subcontracted to Haliburton

Q. How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but the soonest opening is in two months.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they'll have to refer you to a specialist.

Q. How many Repubelicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. All of them, to filibuster, and blame Democrats, and deny the darkness, and legislate for funding to instead rebuild the room in their state.

Q. How many German's does it take to change a lightbulb.
A. One. Because they are efficient and humorless.


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